I have been a financial advisor for nearly two decades. I have worked inside large institutions and built my own firm. And I can tell you with complete honesty that not all financial advisors are created equal.

Some are excellent. Some are mediocre. And some are genuinely not working in your interest, even if they seem confident and credentialed.

I say that not to scare you away from getting professional help. Quite the opposite. A good financial advisor is one of the most valuable relationships you can have, especially in midlife when the decisions you make now have real consequences for the next 20 or 30 years. I say it because I want you to know what to look for, what questions to ask, and what should give you pause.

Here is how to choose a financial advisor who is actually right for you.

People widely acknowledge and discuss how money can negatively impact romantic relationships, but sometimes money causes tension in friendships, too. This is especially true when there is a large discrepancy in income between friends. Here are some simple do's and don'ts to keep money from ruining your friendship.

To Keep Money From Destroying Your Friendships, Remember These Do's

Be honest if you're having financial challenges.

Your friends are not mind-readers and may or may not even realize that money is causing tension in your relationship. If they are real friends, they are not going to care that you would rather invite them over for a cup of coffee than go out for expensive dinner. Just be honest and find things that you like to do together that are free or don't cost much.

Be honest about your financial goals.

I know that money is still a taboo topic in many social circles, but honesty is so important for relationships to thrive. You may not be struggling financially, but y...

Afraid to talk to your spouse about money problems? Money is a common argument amongst couples, and unfortunately, it often gets so bad that it leads to divorce. The earlier you can address financial stress in your relationship, the more likely you can resolve it. The best thing you can do for your relationship is to work together to solve your financial problems.

Premarital counseling can prevent a lot of problems. The theory is that talking about significant issues before getting married can reduce the friction caused by different beliefs and behaviors. Discussing topics like child-rearing, managing conflict, and managing money are essential before getting married. Waiting to sort out the differences after the honeymoon period can be hard.

If you've been married a while and now realize that you and your spouse don't agree on finances, it's important to get a handle on things before they affect your relationship. Money can create a great deal of strain in a relationship.

What shoul...

Returning to work after time away from your career is one of the most significant financial transitions a woman can face. And it almost never happens in a vacuum.

Maybe you stepped back to raise children and are now re-entering after a divorce. Maybe your kids have launched and you are ready to rebuild professionally. Maybe a relationship ended and your financial independence is no longer optional. It is urgent.

Whatever brought you here, I want to start by saying something I mean: the time you spent away from traditional employment was not wasted. You built skills. You managed complexity. You made decisions under pressure with real consequences for real people. That counts. And in many ways, it has prepared you for exactly the kind of intentional, values-driven professional life that is possible on the other side of this transition.

The fear is real. So is the opportunity. Here is how to navigate both.

Start With Clarity Before You Start With Resumes

The instinct when returning t...

Here is something I see constantly in my work with women.

She has been in her role for years. She is good at it. She has taken on more responsibility than her job description ever anticipated. And she has not asked for a raise in a very long time, maybe ever, because it feels awkward or presumptuous or like she should just be grateful for what she has.

And the longer she waits, the more it costs her. Not just today. Every year she is underpaid compounds. It affects her bonuses, her retirement contributions, her Social Security calculation, and every raise that builds on that base going forward.

Asking for a raise is not aggressive. It is not arrogant. It is one of the most financially consequential things you can do, especially in midlife when you are in the prime earning years that matter most for building wealth and funding the retirement you actually want.

Here is how to do it.

Start With Clarity: Know What You Are Worth and What You Want

The first pillar of the Intentional Mo...

Do you remember when you first became a mom? I remember it like it was yesterday. I had so many fears. I was afraid that I wouldn't be a good mom. I was worried that my kids would get hurt. Sometimes I'm afraid I will say the wrong thing when we have an important conversation.

It's normal to worry when you embark on something new, and starting a business is no different. Fear of starting a business is entirely normal. As a business owner, I am constantly pushing myself outside my comfort zone to grow and make a more significant impact. With that said, it's also incredibly rewarding to see the business that I've built.

When I talk to those who are interested in starting their own business, but they can't seem to take the plunge, I find that it's often self-belief that is holding them back. If you suffer from a lack of self-belief, all hope is not lost!

Overcome your fear of starting a business with the following tips:

Set a Goal and Create a Plan

The mere act of setting a goal (o...

What is your biggest fear? Ask a child and they may respond that it's spiders or snakes or some other creepy-crawly. However, as we grow older, we begin to realize that there are other kinds of things to fear. For example, fear of losing a job or fear of not being able to pay the mortgage.

The consequences of the things we fear can seem unbearable. Money fears are no different. So, what do most people do? Lie and hide. That's right. I said they lie and they hide. They lie to themselves about how serious things are, and they hide their fears or their consequences from others.  

Some of these may be the very people who could help, but fear and shame keep them from admitting they are in trouble.

Honesty feels risky

Getting honest about money when you are in trouble feels risky. In some cases, it can cause harm, and in others, it can create worse case scenarios. From missing a payment and having an adverse credit score to causing financial damage to a business or institution, money pro...

The very first personal finance book that I ever read was David Bach's Smart Women Finish Rich. I was in my early 20s at the time, and it was the financial education I never got in school on how to improve my finances. It opened my eyes to a lot of things - about how spending is a reflection of our values, the power of saving consistently over time, and how to avoid common financial mistakes. 

Over the years, I have read some of David Bach's other books as well, so I was looking forward to the release of his latest, The Latte Factor.

This book is different from Bach's other books. It's a parable that teaches basic personal finance concepts through the story of a young woman named Zoey. The text is very readable for a book about personal finance, and Zoey is a very relatable character. If you are having a hard time figuring out how to save for the things you want, I highly recommend it.

3 Ways to Improve Your Finances According to The Latte Factor

Through Zoey's character and the b...

Wondering how to save money while raising a family? You are not alone. I can't tell you how many moms have told me they can't save money because their kids always need something. I can relate. I have three kids that are continually growing out of clothes and shoes, wearing a hole in their backpack, or any number of other things. With that said, it's absolutely possible to save money while raising a family.

Related post: How to Create an Annual Household Budget

10 Tips on How to Save Money While Raising a Family

Commit to saving

First and foremost, successful saving starts with commitment. Saving consistently and automatically is essential to reaching your financial goals, but you won't be successful without a goal. Consider the following:

• What are you saving for?
• How much money do you need or want to save?
• What's the timeframe?

Once you have your goal in place, automate those savings deposits. You can do this in a couple of ways:

1. Set up automatic transfers from your spen
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