Creating Your Best Life After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most difficult and stressful events in a person’s life. There are so many heightened emotions and hard decisions to be made while also managing the details of the divorce process itself. It can be easy to get caught in the cycle of dwelling on the past and feeling regret. 

As part of our Thriving After Divorce Speaker Series, Wendy Sterling, a certified divorce specialist and grief consultant, discussed how to recover after divorce to create your best life. In her presentation, Wendy talked about creating a VISION for a post-divorce life, and that’s what we’re going to focus on in this post. 

An effective way to help you create your best life after divorce is to focus on the now and the vision of the life you want going forward. I think Wendy put it best when she said:

“You are the artist of this canvas of your life.”

Creating a Vision 

Divorce can be an empowering experience where you have the opportunity to reclaim your identity and your voice.

As you think about your future after divorce, it’s important to understand what’s happened in your life so far and how these events have contributed to who you are, how you make decisions, and how you want to move forward. 

Then figure out what’s really important to you. What makes you happy? What makes you feel energized? Allow yourself to create a picture of your ideal life and what’s included in this life.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you start thinking about your vision.  

• What are you good at?
• What activities make you feel energized and happy?
• What do you want your legacy to be?
• What do you want to achieve?
• What are your values?

Your vision for the future may include a new career, finding a new place to live, learning a new hobby or skill, or spending more time with family and friends. Your vision will be very specific to you as an individual with your own set of wants and needs, and it should make you feel happy, safe and secure. You should feel good about your plan for the future so that it will bring calmness after a turbulent time in your life. 

Benefits of Creating a Vision 

Thinking about and planning for the future can help take the focus away from the stress a divorce can cause and give you a much-needed mental and emotional break from the divorce process. Creating a vision helps you see that there is a life after divorce and provides you with goals and something to work towards. 

No matter where you are in the divorce process, focus on the now and the vision of the life you want to create. It’s the perfect time to reconnect with what’s important to you. You are amazing! When making decisions, choose yourself!

Here are some related blog posts that you may find helpful:

5 Ways to Manage Stress After a Divorce

14 Resources for Thriving After Divorce

Celebrating the Holidays After a Divorce